Anna Khait is the daughter of a Jewish father and Russian mother. She attended church growing up but says religion got in the way of a real relationship with God. “There were these rules. There were all these things you have to do. I didn’t like it. I felt very constricted. I really pushed away from God. I really thought God isn’t real and that actually led me to the belief that there is no God.”
Then her parents divorced. It was around that time that Anna began to define herself as an atheist. “I definitely felt abandoned. I felt rejected. Even though my father was a good dad – in the sense that he didn’t leave my life forever. I still spent every weekend with him. There was a lot of pain there. A lot of pain. I was looking for satisfaction in a man. I was looking for love and I was never fulfilled.”
As a teen she fell in love with the game of poker. “When I like something, I go all in. I get really passionate and really driven. It’s a strategy game. There is more to poker than meets the eye. I thought it was super fascinating. It kind of became an addiction.”
After graduating high school, she went on to earn a degree in biology. Instead of attending medical school she moved in with her boyfriend, a pro poker player who helped hone her skills in the game. “We would play all day. We would go to dinner, come home, play nightly tournaments.
Inside, Anna wasn’t as happy as she seemed. “My life was spontaneous, but it wasn’t fruitful. I was so broken inside.” Anna says she was hopeful when she heard about an opportunity to audition for her favorite show, Survivor. She was voted off mid-season and returned home devastated. She says her life began to unravel. As Anna questioned her the meaning of life, her relationship with her boyfriend was falling apart. “I went into a really deep, dark space where I didn’t know what to do with my life because here I am not wanting to play poker, which I wanted to do every single day and here I am with my ex, who is looking at me like, ‘Why aren’t you playing?'”
Broken and desperate, she cried out to God. “I knew I was in a relationship that I had to get out of and I remember I got on my knees – and I mean bawling, weeping, broken. I remember I said, God, if you are real, show me you’re real. What do I do with my life, because I’m lost, and I don’t know what to do?”
Two weeks passed, and Anna didn’t have the answer she was looking for. She was invited on a school tour with other reality television stars, sharing positive messages to young students. She attended and after the program one of the celebrity speakers told her he had a message from God. He said, ” You felt the Holy Spirit before and God is real, just so you know.”
At once, she knew what he was talking about. She told him the story of when she was a teenager on a trip to Jerusalem with a student group. She and a friend had gone to the Western Wall. “Here I was with my friend blaspheming God. I was saying– What came out of my mouth was, ‘Look at these idiots praying to a God that doesn’t exist.’”
I heard this beautiful singing start. Thousands of voices singing and it was everywhere. I mean, I looked around and I couldn’t understand where the singing was coming from. It was the most incredible, profound experience of my life and I never knew what it was, but I just, I wasn’t ready to hear. And I remember at the end of the story he goes, ‘You felt the Holy Spirit, Anna, and you heard angels singing.’ I knew I heard angels singing and that was when I knew that God was real and He was trying to get my attention. And I remember I fell on my knees and I repented. I said, Jesus, forgive me and I gave my life to the Lord. And I remember all of the burdens, all of the depression and sadness, brokenness. I remember feeling the weight of it…the burdens of it lift off my shoulders.”
Anna began to experience a real relationship with God through Bible study and prayer. She’s forever grateful for the freedom she found when she surrendered her heart to God. “God has always been there for me. Jesus has always been there for me. He’s just the most amazing thing in the universe and I just wish more people knew about Him – knew Him intimately – because knowing Him intimately is where all the keys are to His heart. It is so fulfilling. And you know being lost and broken, searching for love…I found it in Jesus. He’s a gentleman, and He’ll knock on your door until you answer and open that door. And He’s just – He’s incredible.”